Does Getting Old Mean Going Back into the Closet?

Est-ce que vieillir est le synonyme de retour dans le placard pour la population gaie? Il semble que oui pour certains! Malheureusement, tout comme dans les cours d'école, on retrouve encore beaucoup trop d'ignorance face à l'homosexualité dans les centres d'hébergement pour personnes âgées et l'homophobie y est présente. L'article de Jane Gross paru dans le New York Times et celui de Marc Allard dans Le Soleil décrivent très bien cette réalité aux États-Unis et qui semble aussi nous rattraper au Canada.

We often hear or read in the media about the importance of ridding schoolyards of homophobia. In early September, results of a survey done by Groupe de recherche et d'intervention sociale gaies et lesbiennes (GRIS) of Montréal showed that 80% of students heard homophobic insults during the school year and 31 % said they were victims of these hurtful comments. These numbers are scary! Many community organizations and individuals have been fighting against this problem for years, for which we thank them, but it is sad to see that we still have a lot of work to do.  In addition to this, we are seeing another emerging problem – or should I say, a problem which is getting more and more media coverage: issues with elderly gay people living in nursing homes or assisted-living centers. I read an article with great interest written by Jane Gross for the New York Times and, closer to home, another article from Marc Allard, reporter for Le Soleil, a Quebec City daily (LINK). Two different countries but focused on the same issue.

Articles show that as they get older, gay women and men are often pushed back into the closet when they have no other choices but living in nursing homes or assisted-living centers. The fear of getting insulted, rejected or violated makes them hide their identity at a time when they are already suffering the indignities of old age. Fortunately, in the US, we are seeing more nursing homes or projects designed for older gay people. In Montreal, so far, one home is marketing to the elderly gay men community.

On a communication standpoint, we know there are still many actions and campaigns put forward in an effort to help abolish homophobia in the schoolyards and to make them a better place for children. But we also need to question ourselves about the future of elderly gay people.

Retirement communities targeting gays and lesbians like RainbowVision are emerging around North America. It is a natural progression to see assisted living and retirement homes also become more gay-friendly as our community looks at the issues of aging.

More and more companies are now aiming their communications towards the baby-boomers, as it is a growing market. With the aging population rising, what are the solutions to create respectful and welcoming environments for all? As an open-minded group, with people coming from various horizons, and readers all over the world, we certainly can have an impact! We need to sensitize companies, nursing homes and assisted-living centers to the reality of the elderly gay community and we can certainly work with them to create programs to improve cohabitation and sensitization for the benefit of all.

We would like your comments and information on any educational campaigns or programs you’ve seen directed toward nurturing more tolerance and integration within elderly or seniors populations.

Comments

[Jane Steinberg]

RianbowVision Santa Fe has become a living environment for insight on the LGBT community as we move in to our second fifty years. First the word "retirement". No one considers themselves as retiring so new terminology is being reviewed to convey our secod stage in life.

In mainstream communities that cater to a more challenged person ( assisted living) it is often the other residents who show extreme prejudice. Our very first member of the Castro ( RVSF's assisted living facility) came from a mainstream community where she was shunned by the other residents when she admittted openly that she was a lesbian. She was so unhappy at facing the prospect of spending her remaining years not being able to talk about her acitivism, her life with her partner and who she was as a person, friend and lover. This person will freely tell you that RainboVision saved her life.